Anyway, I was browsing through the friendster profiles and happened to realise that we (or they) are more than just acting cute and copying black tank tops, jeans and flip flops to Orchard Road. Indeed, we even copy Friendster profile styling! Now for those who have no cow clue on what Im going on about, here, may I present you , my very first publication of ...
THE GUIDE TO CREATING YOUR VERY OWN SINGAPOREAN FRIENDSTER PROFILE! (BASIC)
Preface
Welcome and I thank you for reading this far. This guide is intended to aid those who would like their very own Friendster profile to look Singaporean. It is targeted at mainly girls but boys are very and more than welcome to use the tips here.
Through this publication I hope to see more Singaporean style profiles within the Friendster community (Not)
And I hope that you will be indeed inspired by their artistic photography and literary skills (once again, Not)
Happy Reading.
Rule Number One : Fancify thy Name
Now on Friendster, or anywhere for a fact, first impressions count. And whats the first thing people look at before looking at your profile? YOUR NAME.
So when creating a name for yourself on this broad and vast community, you must indeed be unique for you would not want to be one of a million Michelles or Xiao Tings would you? So, to do it the Singaporean way first step is to think of some mushy name
Ie: Baobei, XiaoLing, MeiMei...etc
After that you must add double letters,
....to become Baobeiixx
....or XXiaooLiingg
....or Meiixmeix
And you know how to make it nicer? Write it in ALteRnAtE CaPS! WAH shiok to the eyes man!
Now I did mention in a previous post how singaporean teenage couples just love to act all mature eh? (sigh, and whats with all those anti-ageing creams,they might as well not sell them..?) They do so by refering to their gf/bf as laogong or laopo. (chinese for husband/wife). To show everyone how tied together they are, they will take their laogongs surname and put it as their Friendster name ie, if their laogongs surname is Chong, They would put their name as MRSchong and their dar dar would put his as MRchong. SO MATCHING!!
And everyone can see that we are shioo in lurrbbee! like dat shakespeare storllee lorh.. wats it call? oh ya.ROWMIOH AND JULIA! hey my maids name is Julia also, shioo high class!!
Reena : How sweet!! ^^
Now, in Singapore, apparently guys like girls who like oh shiiooo kawaii nehxx! (otherwise why would the girls do such poses?!) Now,when you take self-portraits to stick on your Friendster, There are three rules you must follow or you will not catch the attention of any yandao (handsome guy) passing over your profile. These rules are very crucial so listen up.
1.Hold camera slightly higher than your eye level and swivel eyeballs towards lens and put on your most adorable (and sickly looking ><) doggy eyed expression. You know you have absolutely got it spot on right when your picture looks like 2 fishballs about to pop out of your eye sockets! BINGO! Then as a finishing touch after loading your one-of-a-kind studio picture, your caption should read "wah I lurbbe maii big ball ball eyes worxx!!"
2. Also, another hot favourite pose (or should I say poses) is the DEPRESSED MODEL pose. This is where you tilt your head down,look all sad and depressed and snap every possible angle and view your can get of your face, occasiaonally making eye contact with the camera lens (or do the same thing but with the pose described in #1). I TELL YOU THIS STYLE ROX MY SOX! So emo mans! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
3. And apparently the latest craze is to cut your arm , take a great shot of it, edit it in Photoshop to make it all dark and gloomy so that it evokes pity! FANTASTIC I COULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT!! (I think this came from the fact our education system makes you all strange from the stress, or girls just wanna appear pityful...but thank God I never caved in,even with the added burden of Drama and Student Council)
Rule Number Three : State thy Unnecesarry Information
Now, to do a profile like these Singaporean girls, one of the crucial elements of the ABOUT ME part, is to put in a whole lot of useless but OH SO ESSENTIAL information to make it seem like they have a mountain of assets.Like how many holes they have in parts of their bodies and whereabouts.This I suppose is to, just incase they have to meet an unknown they met on Friendster, aid the other person in finding them by comparing them with a slice of quality Swiss Cheese.
Welcome and I thank you for reading this far. This guide is intended to aid those who would like their very own Friendster profile to look Singaporean. It is targeted at mainly girls but boys are very and more than welcome to use the tips here.
Through this publication I hope to see more Singaporean style profiles within the Friendster community (Not)
And I hope that you will be indeed inspired by their artistic photography and literary skills (once again, Not)
Happy Reading.
Rule Number One : Fancify thy Name
Now on Friendster, or anywhere for a fact, first impressions count. And whats the first thing people look at before looking at your profile? YOUR NAME.
So when creating a name for yourself on this broad and vast community, you must indeed be unique for you would not want to be one of a million Michelles or Xiao Tings would you? So, to do it the Singaporean way first step is to think of some mushy name
Ie: Baobei, XiaoLing, MeiMei...etc
After that you must add double letters,
....to become Baobeiixx
....or XXiaooLiingg
....or Meiixmeix
And you know how to make it nicer? Write it in ALteRnAtE CaPS! WAH shiok to the eyes man!
Now I did mention in a previous post how singaporean teenage couples just love to act all mature eh? (sigh, and whats with all those anti-ageing creams,they might as well not sell them..?) They do so by refering to their gf/bf as laogong or laopo. (chinese for husband/wife). To show everyone how tied together they are, they will take their laogongs surname and put it as their Friendster name ie, if their laogongs surname is Chong, They would put their name as MRSchong and their dar dar would put his as MRchong. SO MATCHING!!
And everyone can see that we are shioo in lurrbbee! like dat shakespeare storllee lorh.. wats it call? oh ya.ROWMIOH AND JULIA! hey my maids name is Julia also, shioo high class!!
Reena : How sweet!! ^^
Now, in Singapore, apparently guys like girls who like oh shiiooo kawaii nehxx! (otherwise why would the girls do such poses?!) Now,when you take self-portraits to stick on your Friendster, There are three rules you must follow or you will not catch the attention of any yandao (handsome guy) passing over your profile. These rules are very crucial so listen up.
1.Hold camera slightly higher than your eye level and swivel eyeballs towards lens and put on your most adorable (and sickly looking ><) doggy eyed expression. You know you have absolutely got it spot on right when your picture looks like 2 fishballs about to pop out of your eye sockets! BINGO! Then as a finishing touch after loading your one-of-a-kind studio picture, your caption should read "wah I lurbbe maii big ball ball eyes worxx!!"
2. Also, another hot favourite pose (or should I say poses) is the DEPRESSED MODEL pose. This is where you tilt your head down,look all sad and depressed and snap every possible angle and view your can get of your face, occasiaonally making eye contact with the camera lens (or do the same thing but with the pose described in #1). I TELL YOU THIS STYLE ROX MY SOX! So emo mans! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
3. And apparently the latest craze is to cut your arm , take a great shot of it, edit it in Photoshop to make it all dark and gloomy so that it evokes pity! FANTASTIC I COULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT!! (I think this came from the fact our education system makes you all strange from the stress, or girls just wanna appear pityful...but thank God I never caved in,even with the added burden of Drama and Student Council)
Rule Number Three : State thy Unnecesarry Information
Now, to do a profile like these Singaporean girls, one of the crucial elements of the ABOUT ME part, is to put in a whole lot of useless but OH SO ESSENTIAL information to make it seem like they have a mountain of assets.Like how many holes they have in parts of their bodies and whereabouts.This I suppose is to, just incase they have to meet an unknown they met on Friendster, aid the other person in finding them by comparing them with a slice of quality Swiss Cheese.
8 PIEERRCCINGGXX in ear
left 3/right 5
left 3/right 5
I think they really forgot alot of other equally important information! I mean, if they really wanted to write such fantastic stats, they might as well make it more impressive right? Look how many other holes they missed out! (and Im not even wearing my glasses)
EARHOLE
left 1/ right 1
NOSTRILHOLE
left side of nose 1/ right side of nose 1
left 1/ right 1
NOSTRILHOLE
left side of nose 1/ right side of nose 1
and the one that you die die must and should always put.
ASSHOLE
1/between the butt cheeks
1/between the butt cheeks
Thats a total of 5 holes! But then if you really wanted to get technical,the girls could always put 3 instead of one, so making it 7 in total that we missed!!!. Its so reassuring to the guys to know that you know whats down there too. ^^ IMPRESSIVE!!
And for those who REALLLYYY extra, why not even state what each holes biological function is? Shows of your great knowledge of the human anatomy and how much you listen during Human Bio class!
LOVE DECLARATIONS
Now what is teenage hood without the coveted boyfriend/girlfriend? Misery right? Thats why when you score yourself a dude/chick (even if hes just some random pick from your local friendly neighbourhood school who cant study for anything), it is vitally essential to announce it to the entire world that you have found your one and only soulmate!! Its so rare!! You should announce it like this.
And for those who REALLLYYY extra, why not even state what each holes biological function is? Shows of your great knowledge of the human anatomy and how much you listen during Human Bio class!
LOVE DECLARATIONS
Now what is teenage hood without the coveted boyfriend/girlfriend? Misery right? Thats why when you score yourself a dude/chick (even if hes just some random pick from your local friendly neighbourhood school who cant study for anything), it is vitally essential to announce it to the entire world that you have found your one and only soulmate!! Its so rare!! You should announce it like this.
baobeiixx lurrbee Johnnyy 1314`` <3
Muii.will neber leave euu worrxx **
Jenny baby lurrbbe Johnny dar dar foreba!!
Followed by an ultimatum/threat/order
I will dieee wifout euu hunnyy worrxx dunch eba live miiee
Muii.will neber leave euu worrxx **
Jenny baby lurrbbe Johnny dar dar foreba!!
Followed by an ultimatum/threat/order
I will dieee wifout euu hunnyy worrxx dunch eba live miiee
and have plenty of spelling errors along the way because these people dont listen in english class and they are too busy worrying about their baobeiis health. (See Rule Number 4)
And then to finish the great fairytale story, state your anniversary date and the dates and times and possibly venue of your first holding hands/first kiss/hug/simultaneous fart/nose rubbing..etc!
So that the whole Friendster community can rejoice in your new found bright future, wish you zhao sheng gui zi (have many many kids), start preparing the angbaos and perhaps pop a champange or savignon blanc or two. YAY!!
I mean, the government is trying to get us all lovey dovey with that campaign a few years ago and make more babies (even releasing a Perfume to get us all in the mood!!) -_- but hey, the ministers should take a look on Friendster, all the youngesters are so in lurrbee.. theres really no need to worry about our nations future at all. Screw the older generation, they didnt have places like Friendster to declare their love to all.
Then, at the very end or somewhere in the profile, state all your troubles in flowery sad language, and phrase it well...
Reena : number one? Number one what? Number one depressed little girl? No thank you.
Rule Number Four : The Testimonials
Testimonials..... pfffff. As a singaporean profiler you must treat testimonials in everyway except a testimonial. On a regular basis, you have to write a testimonial to your marmi, dotter, laopo, laogong and pretty much of your extended 'family' telling them that
Reena : SURE I won't -_-
5th day together and then you must say how you will last furebba and furrebba! Like is next week counted as forever? YAY HONEY OUR GOLDEN ANIVERSARY IS NEXT WEEK! BRING OUT THE WINE!!
Recently its becoming a trend to write your beloved a testimonial every 3-5 days to announce to every one that both of you have overcome all the obstacles and hardships of a relationship in the past few days and this shows that your relationship is really strong!!! WAH!! Must be rock hard tough EH? And also also!! you must always remind him/her to eat and drink right. its essential to survival. YES INDEED, especially drinking lots of water. No water, no relationship you know!
So make sure you catch onto this trend alright? Its not very nice to get left behind. But get yourself a bf/gf first.(even if you dont really love or have any feelings whatsoever for him) =)
Rule Number Five : Colour Schemes
I dont need to say much here. Just make the background black, and add hot pink everything else. Glittery rox even more. Maybe plaster a few Playboy bunnies around as well or those glittery desperado graphics from Piczo.com which go "Im looking for a thug whos willing to hug" or whatever try hard crap. But then again, you'ld do good to think twice before plastering those bunnies around after you read my Act Sexy Buay Sexy post in March 06.
I mean, the government is trying to get us all lovey dovey with that campaign a few years ago and make more babies (even releasing a Perfume to get us all in the mood!!) -_- but hey, the ministers should take a look on Friendster, all the youngesters are so in lurrbee.. theres really no need to worry about our nations future at all. Screw the older generation, they didnt have places like Friendster to declare their love to all.
Then, at the very end or somewhere in the profile, state all your troubles in flowery sad language, and phrase it well...
Im not perfect but I'll always strive to be your number one
Reena :
Rule Number Four : The Testimonials
Testimonials..... pfffff. As a singaporean profiler you must treat testimonials in everyway except a testimonial. On a regular basis, you have to write a testimonial to your marmi, dotter, laopo, laogong and pretty much of your extended 'family' telling them that
..you'll see them in school tomorrow ^^
..marmi love dotter worx!!
..marmi love dotter worx!!
or in the case of a loving teen couple...
Dear dear! its our 5th day together worxx!! I lurbbe euu heaps and yong yuan yong yuan wo men bu fen kai ok? (forever dont seperate) and muz make suree euu drink lotsa lotsa water and eat healthily worxx!! dunch make miee worry about euu kays? SARANG HAEYO! MUACKS! (saranghaeyo is I LOVE U in korean)
Reena : SURE I won't -_-
5th day together and then you must say how you will last furebba and furrebba! Like is next week counted as forever? YAY HONEY OUR GOLDEN ANIVERSARY IS NEXT WEEK! BRING OUT THE WINE!!
Recently its becoming a trend to write your beloved a testimonial every 3-5 days to announce to every one that both of you have overcome all the obstacles and hardships of a relationship in the past few days and this shows that your relationship is really strong!!! WAH!! Must be rock hard tough EH? And also also!! you must always remind him/her to eat and drink right. its essential to survival. YES INDEED, especially drinking lots of water. No water, no relationship you know!
So make sure you catch onto this trend alright? Its not very nice to get left behind. But get yourself a bf/gf first.(even if you dont really love or have any feelings whatsoever for him) =)
Rule Number Five : Colour Schemes
I dont need to say much here. Just make the background black, and add hot pink everything else. Glittery rox even more. Maybe plaster a few Playboy bunnies around as well or those glittery desperado graphics from Piczo.com which go "Im looking for a thug whos willing to hug" or whatever try hard crap. But then again, you'ld do good to think twice before plastering those bunnies around after you read my Act Sexy Buay Sexy post in March 06.
__________________________________
Ok, people this is the end cos Im seriously tired out after all that typing (I did a better copy before but stupid blogger deleted it!! argh!!) So yeah, hope you were majorly inspired to create your very own Singaporean style friendster profile!! Tell me about it when you're done! I might just give you a review here!
YEAH YOU WISH.
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