A Footlong Worth of Bitch

totally irrelevant picture but meh~

To begin and set the scene, I like my workplace/job. Theres nice people, lotsa dirty jokes like the gay tomato slicer and the ever popular 6" and footlongs. Not to mention good pay to fund my extensive shopping habits.(my most recent buy being $3000 worth of a macbook pro, which is being paid for in instalments hence Lyn if you see this then please give me a FEW more hours rofl ^^v). The job is as awesome as a double meat double cheese and double bacon creation.

But todays bitch is about the people whom I serve. ie- the customer(s). Make me want to stick a breadstick up certain orifices sometimes *nods firmly*


NUMERO UNO BITCH
So it starts like this. People think I have shitty english language skills.Or I cant speak english. Or I speak shoddy english, or I attempt to speak english and epicly fail.

No seriously, I want to make a badge to wear to work saying

Good day. I got 90% for a essay at Curtin Uni. Hence I would like to believe that my english is better than most of you staring at this badge. Thank You. Now how may I help u?

Yup. X)
Then they try to speak to me in like some kinda of 'simplified' english for example..

*points at toaster* you toast?. NO CHEESE NO. TOAST

OR

NO OLIVE. THE BLACK ONE. NO. no. *gestures to indicate N-O*' (how many NO's do you have to say?!)


yeh. NO sh*t, I know what olives are tyvm. they are thick and round, like you.


NUMERO DUO BITCH
Customers like to believe that I am a cunning, scheming employee who has collaborated with the boss to rip you off whenever the opportunity arises. OOOO. especially in those big complicated orders, when I press tons of buttons and sneaked in a few extra punches while I was at it to rip you off $3, and then we hope *fingers toes and earlobes crossed* that you cant tell cos since the order was big the number must be big too right?

Yeah I know. I am smart. I got 90% for that essay. But lemme tell you that when it comes to numbers, I suck. Im not THAT smart. But thanks for saying that I am. No you wont get a free cookie for that.

So anyway, I punch in their order, and politely inform that they need to pay an arm and a leg and a few armpit hairs so and so amount. And that, is their cue to put on a unbelievably horrified face while reaching for their wallet and exclaim :

GEEZ! are YOU sure? cant be that much. Are you sure you put it through right? *attempts to lean over to scrutinise the screen*

(look miss/sir, there an easier alternative, its called 'printing receipt')

So I kindly offer the alternative, and they grab the receipt and scrutinise it like how guys like to scrutinise hot chicks. They stand there infront of me and study the receipt like its the most fascinating piece of paper, waiting for that elusive error to show up and then they can look at me with glints in their eyes and proclaim:

AH HAH! YOU OVERCHARGED ME 5c! I would like it back thank you! *SMIRK*'

Look, I dont get a payrise or free food with every person I rip off. So why would I bother trying to scam you off a few dollars that doesnt even go into my pocket?

I am a good girl, incase that thought we dont exist anymore.

*****************
Right thats just my little rant for today. Im not annoyed annoyed angry per se. But sometimes people make me want to pull my hair out in disbelief cos they are, well, like that. *.*. Anyhoos, I just wanted to do some healthy venting so thanks for reading.


Im all good and happy and calm and chilled.




really X)


♥ яėεиy