A Waitress's Observations

Its been almost 2 months of working as a waitress and I tell you, I never realised the amount of things involved with this type of job. I always thought all restaurant patrons were like me.

Go in.
Ask for table.
tell the waitress what I want.
Get food.
Eat.
Pay.
Walk out.

Apparently I was abit wrong. Theres all the nonsense people throw at you inbetween the above 7 steps I pointed out.
I get wierd requests and uber fussy customers and just plain annoying ones at times too. You may not realise but Im on my feet for so long so in order to make me and your visit happy, heres a few guidelines for when you next visit a restaurant.

Dont say I didnt warn you if I get so fed up serving you I chuck a from-the-floor piece of broccolli at your visage.

MESSY EATERS.
Please avoid making your table and surroundings look like a hurricane hit it while you were busy gorging yourself. I understand if theres a lil bit of sauce on the table top but some ADULTS eat until the entire table is drizzled with food! WTFish?! ADULTS I SAY!

Its not like I gave them nothing to eat with seriously. I think a toddler could do better. Ive had to like go empty out my wiping cloth full of food bits like up to 8 times just to clean a small square table which is about 80x80 cm in size! I think they ate using their earlobes mans...

Then today there was this group of 4 young 20+ people came in, they ate until the floor was covered in fried rice!

GOSH.
If I were their boyfriend/girlfriend dining with them I would go damn red in embarrassment. You wouldnt be able to tell if the red curry chicken was me or the stuff in the plate on the table.
'scarlly you ate the wrong thing and then wonder where is your darling girlfriend.

Then you break down in despair at my sudden disappearance, and try looking for me in the lost and found box behind the till....

Then you cant find me cos Im slowly being digested in your tummy.
Then you get depressed.
Then you commit suicide.
Then you....

Ok Im taking this wayyyy too far.
But you get my point.
Next.



ALIEN FOOD.
Ok this didnt happen to me but I got similar situations. Just that this is the easiest to understand.

Me: *takes out order pad* What would you like sir/ma'am?

Customer: Can I have the honey lemon chicken?

Me: We dont have Honey Lemon Chicken. Would you like Honey OR Lemon Chicken?

Customer: Honey Lemon.

Me: Its either Honey OR Lemon.

Customer: What? I want Honey
Lemon! I had that when I came here last time though! ITS ON THE MENU!

Me:
Where? *hands them a menu*

Customer: nvm. Give me a Honey Chicken...

Please dont make up dishes or modify their name where possible. For all you know you get Deep fried chicken eyeballs with slivers of cow bladder instead of Deep Fried Chicken with Lemon grass Blades one day and dont blame your waiter. xD (Btw, I made up the Chicken Lemongrass Blades thing. Its doesnt exist. But it sounds normal)

And another thing. If the restaurant doesnt specifically say it does vegetarian, and you are hardcore vegetarian, let me tell you here, in EVERY DISH there will be traces of meat or the food will be cooked in something which once cooked meat. MUAHAHA.~ you cant escape...*evil grin*

VEGETARINISM. GOSH...

Im gonna be slamming vegetarians abit in the following few paragraphs so dont take the following to heart if you are vegetarian for health reasons. =))

Seriously. Ok Im gonna digress abit.

How the hell do vegetarians survive in this world of good glorious fatty meat?! I cannot for one imagine someone surviving on green peas and shredded carrot their entire life. Sure the poor animals die but if you eat them and gain nourishment and grow up to be an intelligent homosexual homosapien (like me) who can for once do something right and beneficial to the world (unlike some political idiots) then its all worth it right?

(yeah I did something beneficial to mankind/world. I started this blog ^.~)

Alright, maybe if say KFC slaughtered their chickens in an inhuman way (Dont get me wrong. I am huge supporter of RSPCA) then I support your decision to boycott the Colonel and his '11 secret herbs and spices' but go find other chickens lah! YOU are the inhuman one to not eat meat! You crazy alien! xD

Dont even get me started on how 'tasty' and 'meat-like' vegetarian meats are. Ive tried them before I and swear you either were born without tastebuds or you, as I mentioned before, is a crazy alien.

Tres Disgusting!
*Im trying to sound like a disgusted snobby french/italian chick. Dont mind me here.



Go eat grass instead. Full of the goodness of Chlorophyll.
Confirm its 100% vegetarian.





Unless you happen to eat a passing bug then thats not my problem. =))


FUSSY EATERS
And this is one thing I absolutely hate. Dont ask your waiter to take out this take out that take out whatever from your dish. No onion, no garlic, no peas, no chilli..yadda yadda yadda...Unless you the menu specifically said you have that choice. If you are still going to be alive after consuming the dish then just dont make unnecessary modifications. Its spoils the overall taste anyway. So fussy~

You think your tastebuds are the only one we're catering too?




You might as well say I want Fried Rice without the rice.

*************************

People who do waitressing would agree with me right? Especially if you wait at a very popular and forever busy venue. ITS NEVER ENDING MANS.

Ok I think thats it. I initially had only 1 which was the messy people rant but I kinda expanded eventually. I might come back for Part 2 if I get more inspired by my customers =DD

Please keep these in mind at your next restaurant visit. Makes life for me and you so much easier. ^^

Its already 5am. Im going off to snooze and dream of food.

And to end of a good visit to this blog of mine, in true waiter style...

"Thank you (for visiting my blog) and do come again"

*smiles*