Talking about Poop, pees and farts, Andy sent me this link to this article at funnyjunk.com.
I just cracked up so so much~! You will never use the terms '#1' and '#2' again to describe your lavatory dramas.
Argh~ I 'll stick it here for you to read then it could just save you the trouble of flying off to another webpage and possibly subsequently not continuing to read the rest.
THE POOPIE LIST
GHOST POOPIE
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
CLEAN POOPIE
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
SECOND WAVE POOPIE
This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE
The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOPIE
It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER'S POOPIE
The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOPIE
Self explanatory. (I must add, theres also its cousin - Beansprout (tau geh) Poopie.)
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE
The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few airy times.
SPINAL TAP POOPIE
That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water. THE
DANGLING POOPIE
This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.
THE SURPRISE POOPIE
You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!
**************
I suppose enough said. But as per usual, Me being Reena. Me being the ever shameless, must comment even on such a private matter.
I have experienced possibly all of the above in the past 17 years of my life.
But I refuse to elaborate on the Beansprout Variety. I leave that up to your vivid imaginations.
Fine, I give you abit of 'help'
Imagine beansprout poopie in squatting toilet.
Your face - max 40cm above poo. Hot air (from poopie) rises UP.
Squatting toilet - your visage faces frontwards or else down (squirming in pain)
Enough said.
Past 3 days or so was my Net Hiatus. Well me and Aimi's. She came slept over my house and I must say we achieved what , to you is a rather sad feat but to us, its a miricle.
We went cold turkey on the internet. =0
No internet or computer for 3 whole days.
We actually went out and got a life. A LIFE.
Tuesday, she came over. We went to the park to, well, watch the ducks amble across the picture perfect grass and chase after small screaming small kids. Play abit in the playground like childish num nums. OMG the wind at the park was MASSIVE! I think it was about to rain and there was like.. a freak windstorm. We had our backs to the direction of the wind and for a heavy weight like me, I COULD FEEL MYSELF MOVING~~
like getting pushed over by
WIND.
AIR.
OXYGEN.
=//
AND THEN THE REST OF THE DAY WAS SPENT WRECKING HAVOC IN MY ROOM.
OH! Remember when I got my Ipod I said I was going to pinkyfy it??????
I did that all right.
and then I got carried away... and I did up my phone....
and Aimis nano....
and Aimis phone! =DDDD
WOOTS~!!
LOOKIES!...
My pretty Pod. Yes its a BABY PINK SILICON SKIN!! The diamontes around the screen and scroll wheel actually sparkle like crazy in sunlight or halogen lamp light. Plus I put a giant diamonte R as a 'little' charm. Its amazingly gorgeous can?! Its like 'bling bling bling' every time it moves!~ I feel like a million bucks.
Did the same thing to Aimis mobile phone. Its super attitude cos the phone casing is this wacky shimmery purple. Think diamonds cross graffitti. =))
...and the same thing to my white Nokia 6230. Its seriously does look like a million bucks. I bought a diamonte letter 'R' phone charm too but its currently in repair after I dropped my phone and a few diamontes dropped off so I took it off for fixing.
and last but not least. Aimi's Ipod. Its got a black silicon skin (frankly I detest those opaque skins. Totally defeats half the purpose of buying an Ipod) Its like a gradient of pink glitter dotted with diamontes. Random and kinda attitude-ish.
PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY!
I used up like almost all my nail deco stuf (diamontes and glitter) but I think they will stick longer to my stuff than to my nails.
Next 2 days were mostly endless shopping. I bought a yellow jumper hoodie top. I think Im going through a Clothing Colour Phase at the moment, which is yellow. (thank God not Pink) I am loving yellow clothing cos it gives me minor Happy Hormone Orgasms. Also found an amazing pair of white trackpants which I DIE DIE had to get cos they were only $25 (pretty reasonable). They are so damned comfy and soft and ahhhhh~~~~~ I could party in them. Aimi said I look like a bogan. which after endless explanation on what this is, I still catch no ball. Whatever that is.
And finally I managed to find the perfect SHIRT DRESS! Its a shirt cross a dress kinda thing. The one I got is cargo style with short sleeves and shorter in length than the one pictured but you get the gist. Perfect worn over jeans! Currently my favourite piece of clothing =DDD
But at the end of the day, I must say...
I am sick of shopping =//
*my mum heaves a sigh of relief*
Anyways. The last night of Aimi's stay and our Net Hiatus, we played Monopoly cos we umm... couldnt get to sleep and we felt like exercising our muddled brains? So spent 2 hours slumped on my bed surrounded with money and properties and FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I ACTUALLY WON! wooo~!! HAPPY! lol.
But I must say it was a close game. Cos somehow we both kept struggling to pay each others rent as hotels popped up like mushrooms every few minutes. =// Managed to pay the rents though, after a few mortgages LOL~~
Then I finally knocked Aimi out. =))
With a $12,750 rent ^^
Net Hiatus officially ended today. I found it such a breather being away from MSN and the computer in general. My eyes became round again and I feel so much motivation to go out to do stuff like going to the parks and beaches and just having fun with PEOPLE IN PERSON! I dont think I be on MSN as often anymore! =)))
Oh by the way, next week Im having my first driving lesson! WHHEE~!! Can't wait tocrash the car show the instructor my God-given driving talent. If only had my camera RIGHT NOW!
Oh, speaking of that...
Ahhh, its 12:30am I really should sleep. Im dead tired. But thats not all from the past 3 days!
I have a post about MSN Etiquette that me and Aimi were discussing the other day, coming up soonn! We were talking about all the rude things people do on MSN but dont realise how frikkin rude it is. You have email etiquette and phone etiquette so why not MSN etiquette? It is, after all, a form of communication. Im gonna cover pretty much every aspect of MSN so all you people better read, for all you know you could be doing something which is considered RUDE! and you never get to see me fuming at your absolute lack of mannerisms. *grrr*
Too tired to blog that now. And I figure its better to give that topic its own blog post instead of shoving it along with all of the stuff Ive shared today. ^^
Stay tuned ya? TTYL! =DD
I have experienced possibly all of the above in the past 17 years of my life.
But I refuse to elaborate on the Beansprout Variety. I leave that up to your vivid imaginations.
Fine, I give you abit of 'help'
Imagine beansprout poopie in squatting toilet.
Your face - max 40cm above poo. Hot air (from poopie) rises UP.
Squatting toilet - your visage faces frontwards or else down (squirming in pain)
Enough said.
BACK TO NORMAL SUBJECTS!! =DD
Past 3 days or so was my Net Hiatus. Well me and Aimi's. She came slept over my house and I must say we achieved what , to you is a rather sad feat but to us, its a miricle.
We went cold turkey on the internet. =0
No internet or computer for 3 whole days.
We actually went out and got a life. A LIFE.
Tuesday, she came over. We went to the park to, well, watch the ducks amble across the picture perfect grass and chase after small screaming small kids. Play abit in the playground like childish num nums. OMG the wind at the park was MASSIVE! I think it was about to rain and there was like.. a freak windstorm. We had our backs to the direction of the wind and for a heavy weight like me, I COULD FEEL MYSELF MOVING~~
like getting pushed over by
WIND.
AIR.
OXYGEN.
=//
AND THEN THE REST OF THE DAY WAS SPENT WRECKING HAVOC IN MY ROOM.
OH! Remember when I got my Ipod I said I was going to pinkyfy it??????
I did that all right.
and then I got carried away... and I did up my phone....
and Aimis nano....
and Aimis phone! =DDDD
WOOTS~!!
LOOKIES!...
My pretty Pod. Yes its a BABY PINK SILICON SKIN!! The diamontes around the screen and scroll wheel actually sparkle like crazy in sunlight or halogen lamp light. Plus I put a giant diamonte R as a 'little' charm. Its amazingly gorgeous can?! Its like 'bling bling bling' every time it moves!~ I feel like a million bucks.
Did the same thing to Aimis mobile phone. Its super attitude cos the phone casing is this wacky shimmery purple. Think diamonds cross graffitti. =))
...and the same thing to my white Nokia 6230. Its seriously does look like a million bucks. I bought a diamonte letter 'R' phone charm too but its currently in repair after I dropped my phone and a few diamontes dropped off so I took it off for fixing.
and last but not least. Aimi's Ipod. Its got a black silicon skin (frankly I detest those opaque skins. Totally defeats half the purpose of buying an Ipod) Its like a gradient of pink glitter dotted with diamontes. Random and kinda attitude-ish.I used up like almost all my nail deco stuf (diamontes and glitter) but I think they will stick longer to my stuff than to my nails.
Next 2 days were mostly endless shopping. I bought a yellow jumper hoodie top. I think Im going through a Clothing Colour Phase at the moment, which is yellow. (thank God not Pink) I am loving yellow clothing cos it gives me minor Happy Hormone Orgasms. Also found an amazing pair of white trackpants which I DIE DIE had to get cos they were only $25 (pretty reasonable). They are so damned comfy and soft and ahhhhh~~~~~ I could party in them. Aimi said I look like a bogan. which after endless explanation on what this is, I still catch no ball. Whatever that is.
And finally I managed to find the perfect SHIRT DRESS! Its a shirt cross a dress kinda thing. The one I got is cargo style with short sleeves and shorter in length than the one pictured but you get the gist. Perfect worn over jeans! Currently my favourite piece of clothing =DDD
But at the end of the day, I must say...
I am sick of shopping =//
*my mum heaves a sigh of relief*
Anyways. The last night of Aimi's stay and our Net Hiatus, we played Monopoly cos we umm... couldnt get to sleep and we felt like exercising our muddled brains? So spent 2 hours slumped on my bed surrounded with money and properties and FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I ACTUALLY WON! wooo~!! HAPPY! lol.
But I must say it was a close game. Cos somehow we both kept struggling to pay each others rent as hotels popped up like mushrooms every few minutes. =// Managed to pay the rents though, after a few mortgages LOL~~
Then I finally knocked Aimi out. =))
With a $12,750 rent ^^
Net Hiatus officially ended today. I found it such a breather being away from MSN and the computer in general. My eyes became round again and I feel so much motivation to go out to do stuff like going to the parks and beaches and just having fun with PEOPLE IN PERSON! I dont think I be on MSN as often anymore! =)))
Oh by the way, next week Im having my first driving lesson! WHHEE~!! Can't wait to
Oh, speaking of that...
Camera Update :
I went to Harvey Norman today to find my camera. ITS SO TINY AND SKINNY AND CUTE AND SWEETTTTT!!!!! omg my motivation and dedication to keep working towards it just shot through the roof then. Im 20% ($100) towards my goal so that leaves 80% more MONEYYYYY to earn before my BABY ARRIVES! =DDD
Oh the joy! hahaha. Yes I am crazy.
Ahhh, its 12:30am I really should sleep. Im dead tired. But thats not all from the past 3 days!
I have a post about MSN Etiquette that me and Aimi were discussing the other day, coming up soonn! We were talking about all the rude things people do on MSN but dont realise how frikkin rude it is. You have email etiquette and phone etiquette so why not MSN etiquette? It is, after all, a form of communication. Im gonna cover pretty much every aspect of MSN so all you people better read, for all you know you could be doing something which is considered RUDE! and you never get to see me fuming at your absolute lack of mannerisms. *grrr*
Too tired to blog that now. And I figure its better to give that topic its own blog post instead of shoving it along with all of the stuff Ive shared today. ^^
Stay tuned ya? TTYL! =DD
POST NOTE:
Aimi says I talk in my sleep. OMG EMBARRASING =//
goodness knows what Ive been saying!!! ARGH~!!
*hides*
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